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13 things you only know if you've lived in an all-female flatshare

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Living with your very best girlfriends can be a dream come true – life feels like a sleepover ALL THE TIME, and there’s always someone on hand for dating advice and wardrobe dilemmas. But for every amazing borrowed outfit, there’s also the female flatshare taxes – like picking hairs out the plughole, and dealing with those raging monthly hormones.

Here are some things you might recognise if you’ve lived in an all-female household…

1) Your clothes will NEVER be your clothes again.

Pro: the whole flat is essentially a bottomless, communal wardrobe – oh the outfit possibilities! Con: your chances of finding your favourite blue blouse when you need it have become very slim…

2) You might want to set up a ‘plug-hole’ rota…

Cos that’s gonna fill up with hairs at an alarming rate, and some sucker’s gonna have to get their hands dirty every week. You’ll probably consider getting shares in Mr Muscle drain unblocker, due to the excessive amount you’re getting through…

3) The necessity of the morning-after debrief.

A hangover isn’t really a hangover until it’s shared with three other girls, laden with gossip (and regret) and accompanied by tears, tissues and family-size Dairy Milk.

4) The myth of ‘syncing’ with each other is actually NOT A MYTH.

…so get ready for more tears, tissues and family-size Dairy Milk. On the plus side, collective PMT is a hell of a lot more therapeutic than solo PMT. Although not necessarily more manageable… soz

5) That overwhelming feeling of betrayal when one of you gets a boy/girlfriend.

Said loved-up flatmate starts to prioritise time with their new bae above all flatmates, and this very fact angers the group beyond belief. Especially when their new bae starts turning up ALL THE TIME. You lose precious kitchen access while she’s in there cooking a romantic four-course tasting menu, and then later lose sleep when they both forget just HOW thin the walls are. And of course, you’re not remotely jealous that you’re still single…

6) Your access to freshly baked goods becomes almost too easy.

Someone is almost always guaranteed to be baking something delicious, filling the house with wafts of warm biscuits, brownies and cake in the process. Just make sure you get in there before the rest of the predators demolish the whole batch in one sitting.

7) At some point, someone will go on a health kick

…and you’ll be heavily judged for not participating in the following: preparing all of your meals in a Nutribullet, 6am trips to the gym, and replacing carbohydrates with various forms of deconstructed vegetables.

8) There’s usually some free literature knocking around.

Which is great, because you’ll become well-versed in the ways of the world and ALL the really important current affairs. Who has Tristan cheated on Khloe Kardashian with now?!

9) Anything vaguely resembling a hanging space will usually have laundry hanging off it.

Radiators with bras strewn over them… banisters with damp jeans dangling down… who even needs to bother with home décor when you’ve got fresh laundry?

10) The awkward yet inevitable moment when two of the gang fall out…

…and suddenly EVERYONE is unwillingly forced into a ‘who’s side are you on?’ war. Forget about staying neutral – you’re pledging allegiance to one of them whether you like it or not. Prepare for warfare.

11) You have to re-learn the rules of borrowing.

Magazines, Tampax and the odd bit of shampoo – all fair. Ex-boyfriends, razors and brand new clothes on the other hand…

12) The inevitable moment when you lose half of your deposit.

And it’s ALL thanks to those straightener burns on the carpets, fake tan stains on the sofa, and spilt nail varnish on the furniture. Sigh.

13) But it was ALL worth it to live with your besties.

Long live the sisterhood <3

Image credit: theexplorerdad.


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