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Finding 'The One'

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The search for ‘The One’ is challenging. Firstly, you download the app and create a profile. You include your likes, dislikes and preferences, hoping someone will match with you. You’re faced with thousands of people searching for the same thing, navigating through an endless amount of candidates to find that special someone. But we’re not talking about dating, we’re talking about finding a flatmate.

So many of our users have told us how the process of finding a flatmate is like dating… but you have to move in with them after the first date!

Here at SpareRoom, we’ve been bringing flatmates together for almost 20 years, so we know a thing or two about the importance of finding someone you click with.

We’ll be exploring the 6 stages of finding a flatmate, and how they’re similar to dating, with a few tips from us along the way…

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Step 1: Creating your profile

Whether you're looking for a new flatshare, or you're looking for the love of your life, the very first step is to download the app and create your online profile. This is your opportunity to make a good impression and find exactly what you’re looking for.

SpareRoom says: Always be upfront and honest when it comes to creating your profile. Include what you’re looking for and some info about your lifestyle, so you’ll attract the right type of person who compliments this. This will save you hassle down the line!

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Step 2: Online convo then meeting IRL

So, after some back and forth messages, you realise you might be compatible… but would you work IRL?

Arranging to meet up with a prospective flatmate is just like a first date, the nerves are inevitable and you’re praying it will work out. Nobody likes a time waster.

One golden rule of dating (thank you Love Island), is 'don't put all your eggs in one basket.’ The same can be said for finding a flatmate. You’ve got to keep your options open and get to know a few different people before committing to one.

SpareRoom says: We mean it; don’t put all your eggs in one basket! Talk to lots of potential flatmates, it will help you figure out what you’re really looking for and if a person is right for you. It also gives you more options and flexibility if things fall through.

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Step 3: Do you get ghosted or commit?

So it doesn’t always go to plan, and being ghosted is sadly a real possibility. Chances are you may have been ghosted before, and if you’ve ever been the ghoster… shame on you!!! Getting ghosted can be heartbreaking - you finally think you’ve clicked with someone and then they stop replying to your messages, but actually they didn’t have the guts to tell you they’re just not into it anymore!

SpareRoom says: We hate ghosting as much as you do. Just let someone know. Here are a few phrases we recommend using over ignoring someone…

1. Thanks for showing me round the other day. After some thought I've decided that I'm actually looking for a place in a different location/a bigger room/a garden (insert relevant reason here). Good luck with your housemate hunt!

2. It was great to meet you, lots of people have been interested in the room and we've decided to offer it to someone else as we all really clicked. Good luck with your search!

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Or perhaps it’s still going well and you can see a future together - time to commit to a lease, or in the dating world go exclusive!

Step 4: When you’ve found ‘The One’

The moment you’ve been waiting for finally arrives… you’ve found ‘the one’ AND you can delete the app from your phone! See ya!

Your flatmate or partner not only has to get along with you, but they should hopefully get on with your friends and family too. Getting the seal of approval is crucial, you don’t want any awkward group pub trips…

SpareRoom says: We’d be sad to see you go, but happy you’ve found what you’ve been looking for! Wooo! You can learn a lot about someone by understanding who their friends are and even how they act around them. It’s also a great way to expand your social circle and meet new people! Hello social butterfly!

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Step 5: The ick and the break-up

Flatmate icks are a real thing. It’s not just for romantic relationships. These icks can slowly build up until you can’t handle them any more (there’s only so much hair in the plug hole you can deal with). This is when the passive aggressive WhatsApp messages or Post-it notes start. We’ve all been there…

“It’s not you, it’s me!”
“We want different things!”
“I think we rushed into it too quickly!”

We’ve heard them all before. A romantic breakup can be as difficult as a flatmate breakup, whether it ends badly or not. This could also involve the awkward dividing of flat possessions; no the faulty toaster is not a fair swap for the Nutribullet…

SpareRoom says: We hope this doesn’t happen, but we do know that once you’ve got the ick it’s hard to go back. There are ways to minimise any tension; if issues continue to arise, raise them (kindly), you don’t want them to build and potentially blow up. It’s ok to move on and it doesn’t have to be the end of the road in terms of a friendship.

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Step 6: Post break-up

So you’re back to square one. Single again, great.

Do you put yourself back out there to find someone new? Can you stay friends with an ex? Do you become an independent boss who doesn’t need a plus one? Navigating post-break up life can be a challenge for anyone.

SpareRoom says: We say, get yourself back out there, you’re just one step closer to finding the perfect flatmate/partner!

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