I’ve lived in flatshares my whole adult life, sharing with everyone from actors and civil engineers to graphic designers. In that time, I’ve been one of the highest earners in my household, but I’ve also been the lowest.
Famously, for four days in a row I ate a housemate’s inedible risotto that was destined for the bin, all because I didn’t want to stretch my food budget that week. Around that time, my housemates suggested a cleaner that my funds couldn’t justify, so I had to veto it.
So, when SpareRoom research revealed the wage gap in UK flatshares is causing problems for almost half (43%) of flatmates, I could empathise.A fifth of UK flatmates estimate the difference in pay between the highest-and lowest-earning flatmates in their households is more than £20K. When I first moved to London in 2022, my salary barely covered my £725 monthly rent, leaving me with a budget of £300 for everything else. My flatmates, however, could actually go out for nice dinners and buy more than two pints at the pub without checking their overdrafts.
According to a SpareRoom survey, the top reasons for wage gap-related tension between flatmates are:
- Energy / heating usage (77%)
- How much each flatmate should contribute to bills (52%)
- How much each flatmate should contribute to communal supplies, e.g. toilet roll, washing up liquid (48%)
- How much each flatmate should pay in rent (39%)
- Whether or not flatmates should pay for a cleaner (35%)
The survey also revealed that when it comes to buying communal supplies, 30% of flatmates have none at all – they prefer to buy and use their own. I think I speak for most people when I say there’s no bigger disrespect than buying Andrex premium quilted toilet roll, only to receive supermarket own-brand in return the following week.
While arguments over who forked out extra this month for washing up liquid may sound petty, renters' purse strings are tighter than ever, and every penny really does count. Room rents have risen by 30% to £747 per month in the past five years and we’ve all felt the sting of the soaring prices of food and energy bills. Wages just haven’t kept pace.
According to ONS, spending up to 30% of your gross income on housing costs is considered an ‘affordable’ amount. Using this as a threshold, we calculated that flatmates need to earn a minimum annual salary of almost £30K to rent an average room affordably. However, our survey shows that almost half of flatmates earn less than £30K.
It used to be the case that a good salary would get you onto the housing ladder, or at least allow you to rent alone or with a partner. But now that the cost of renting and living is so high, sharing makes sense for people on higher incomes too.
Almost three in 10 (29%) renters told us they had missed out on the opportunity to share a place with a friend because of salary differences. While living with strangers can also be a great option – it has worked out for me many times in the past – it’s totally reasonable to want to live with someone you’re familiar with, particularly if you’re moving to a new city. But money can be divisive when it comes to lifestyle expectations, and unfortunately can come at the expense of sacrificing living with the people you’d like.
In my first flatshare I was able to negotiate a lower rent by having a smaller room. And when I was the higher earner in the household, I bought my olive oil separately so I could have the expensive stuff in the fancy glass bottle. When you live with the right people, you just work it out.
If you’re looking for resolutions to common flatmate issues, here are some suggestions I’ve put together from my personal experiences of flatsharing!
Compromise on heating and energy bills
I’ve had my share of stand-offs with a chronically cold housemate who wanted to put the heating on full-whack all day. Firstly, I should emphasise that asking before you turn the heating on is good flatmate etiquette – it shows consideration. But, unfortunately, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution and it will require conversation and compromise. The thing is, everyone feels temperature differently, so it’s hard to argue when someone tells you they feel especially hot or cold.
The first thing I would recommend is showing reasonable effort. If you or your flatmate feels cold, have you at least made an effort to try and make yourself warmer? Are you wearing a jumper? Have you tried using a hot water bottle? If so, then perhaps it's time to turn on the heating. Again, to compromise, agree on a set time before you turn the heating off again (perhaps an hour or two). In the winter months when it’s significantly colder, it’s reasonable to set the heating to come on first thing in the morning or later in the evening.
Deciding whether or not to hire a cleaner
A fundamental part of the flatmate experience is having some sort of altercation over cleaning. It's inevitable that at some point one of you won’t pull your weight, get lax with taking the bins out or forget to clean the bathroom. We all have different perceptions of cleanliness and also, how we individually prioritise the importance of chores varies. So, in principle, yes, hiring a cleaner would minimise friction between flatmates. But unfortunately, it comes at a price. And one that not everyone will be willing to pay.
If you feel that hiring a cleaner would be beneficial to your household, have the conversation with your flatmates, but be prepared that not everyone will be happy to part with their money, which is fair enough. If this is the case, use it as a jumping-off point to discuss alternatives e.g. implementing a cleaning rota, or simply reminding everyone that they need to be more conscious of keeping the space clean.
Ultimately, you can’t force anyone to pay for a service that they don’t want, but equally this may not solve your cleaning issue. If the level of cleanliness bothers you that much, you could fork out for the price of a cleaner yourself (or group together with other willing housemates!), but ultimately, you may just have to suck it up.
Sharing the cost of communal supplies
Firstly, decide on what you all consider to be ‘communal’. This will vary between households, but it’s fairly common for items like toilet roll and washing up liquid to be shared, as everyone uses them. One way to split costs is to take it in turns to purchase these items although, this does rely on everyone remembering when it’s their turn and quality will vary according to budgets!
The way I see it, you have three options: Either you all agree to purchase the exact same item each time, or promise not to split hairs over 30p differences in cost. But, if you're finding your flatmates aren't replacing communal items, you could volunteer to be the ‘buyer’ and invoice your housemates instead. I’ve used cost-splitting apps in previous houseshares, but have also used a communal pot into which everyone contributes a set amount each month for group purchases. If you’re not comfortable paying for communal items, voice this from the start. It will then be down to you to buy those items for your own personal use.