As we know, the flatmate relationship is a complicated one indeed. It normally starts with the “wooing” period – where you’ll do anything you can to befriend your potential new roomie, in the hope they’ll pick you over anyone else.
This can include a few little white lies. But what’s a white lie about being an Everton fan if it means you’re securing your dream flatshare, right?
And it’s not just at viewings where you’ll be most likely to fib – the person offering the room might well have a few ones of their own ready to woo you with...
Here are some of the most common white lies amongst flatmates, from the wooing phase to beyond. How many can you tick off?
The lie: "I'm really neat and tidy, yeah. If anything a little too neat. You probably won't ever see any of my dirty plates!"
The reality: Day 5. You’ve entirely run out of clean plates. Slowly growing mountain of your dirty plates is about to collapse all over the bedroom floor.
The lie: “I’d say I’m easy-going. I’m not really fussed by a bit of clutter here and there around the house, it’s gotta be lived in hasn’t it.”
The reality: A pit of venom burns in your stomach whenever you see the steadily growing collection of unopened letters in your flatmate’s name, conveniently abandoned ALL OVER the kitchen table…
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The lie: “I’m really quick in the bathroom, 10 min showers are my special skill!”
The reality: 30 mins later and still not onto the conditioner, you have absolutely zero intention of evacuating the shower cubicle any time soon.
The lie: “Oh no as if I’d ever steal anyone’s food, what an awful, shady thing to do!”
The reality: It’s Thursday, 10pm. You’ve had too many free wines at work drinks. The leftover lasagne is just staring at you. What else were you meant to do…?
The lie: “Sorry guys, not gonna be able to come to flatmate drinks tonight. I’ve just got this awful cold, I really need to recuperate.”
The reality: A whole flat to yourself, unbridled Netflix access, a free bath, and no chance of any disturbance? DREAM SCENARIO.
The lie: "They’ve stolen your blue top?! What a joke! No, I genuinely haven’t seen it either but I’ll let you know right away if I do!”
The reality: You’re desperately waiting for her to leave the house so you can wash the blue top and forget the whole sorry business. And god forbid anyone tags any photos of you wearing it…
The lie: “Ewww no I’d never fancy one of my flatmates – they’re like my family!”
The reality: You now hide in your bedroom for an extra 5 mins each morning to avoid crossing paths with your flatmate emerging from the shower in a towel. You’re wondering if you’re ever going to be able to look them in the eye again to be honest. Maybe moving out is just easier than living with constant heartache?!
The lie: “Noooo it definitely was not me that smashed that lamp your grandparents got you! I’d have replaced it straight away, you know that!”
The reality: frantically Googles replica lamp to replace rare art deco vintage lamp
And so the list goes on...
As you can see, it can be super tempting to act like an upgraded version of yourself when you’re looking for somewhere to live – but in the long run it’s much easier to be yourself (even if that does mean admitting to the odd lasagne theft). You’ll end up with like-minded people and you’ll be able to be honest and relaxed about your own way of living.
Have you ever told any white lies to secure your place in a flatshare, or are you lying to your flatmates now? Tell us (and them!)...
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