Student houses get a bad rep - and probably for a good reason. Whether it’s nocturnal housemates, cockroach infestations or landlords from hell, everyone’s got a student houseshare horror story...
But as much as sticky floors and being CONSTANTLY cold are part and parcel of student living, housesharing with friends is also great fun. A house full of people means there's always someone up for a night out or to provide a shoulder to cry on, and whether it’s arguments over who used the last of the toilet paper or small gatherings that turn into full-blown parties, you can be sure there’s always something going on.
From the pile of Dominos vouchers that have turned into a makeshift doormat to that one frying pan that is ALWAYS dirty, anyone who's ever lived in a student houseshare is sure to recognise these things...
1. The washing up will be avoided like the plague
If you don’t have piles of dirty dishes and mugs of mouldy tea piled up next to the sink, are you really living in a student house?
2. There will be an inexplicable traffic cone
At some point, someone will go on a night out and for some unknown reason they will bring back a traffic cone. Said traffic cone will sit in the hallway for the entirety of the tenancy and not be questioned. Accept said traffic cone as part of the furniture.
3. Your house will begin to resemble a Wilko
Moving in with six other students means six more frying pans, six more saucepans, six more plates/ bowls/ mugs and, for some unknown reason, about 17 more cheese graters. At least you’ll never be lost when it comes to grating cheddar over your batch-made spag bol.
4. Living in squalor will be completely normal
What do you mean that brown carpet’s actually beige?
5. You’ll eat so many chicken nuggets you’ll start to think they’re a food group
Just come back from a night out? Chicken nuggets. Dying of a hangover? Chicken nuggets. You’ll get so used to them you’ll get withdrawal symptoms when you go home to your parents.
6. You'll resort to drastic measures to protect your food
Picture the scene: you’ve had a long hard day of lectures and all you can think about is that delicious leftover lasagne waiting for you in the fridge. That is, until you find out one of your housemates has scoffed the lot in their drunken state the previous night. You’ll resort to hiding everything from cornflakes to ketchup under your bed (which probably doesn't help with the rodent problem...).
7. You’ll never have been so aware of quite how thin the walls are
We don’t think this one need explaining…
8. It’s borderline blasphemous to mention leaving the house on a Sunday
Instead you’ll spend the entire day piled into one bed, devouring ice cream and providing each other with a full debrief of the previous night’s antics.
9. The amount of messages you get from the house Whatsapp will make you look insanely popular
… when all they really are are requests to buy milk/ turn the music down/ DO THE WASHING UP!!
10. Turning on the heating has never been a more contentious issue
Nothing divides a house quite like its temperature. Half of you will insist on putting on a jumper and sucking it up (this is England, after all), whilst the other half resort to sneaking out of bed to turn the thermostat up. Let the war of the thermostat commence...
11. Cooking Christmas dinner is a military operation
Ah Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year! That is, until you have to cook enough roast potatoes to feed a small army. Someone will get too drunk and drop the gammon and there will definitely be an argument about who got the best secret santa present - but it wouldn’t be Christmas otherwise, would it?
12. It’s a lot of fun
When it comes down to it, student houseshares truly are one of the best times of your life. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and then you’ll probably laugh again, because living in a student houseshare is too ridiculous to take seriously.